special

You want to feel special

I understand this on a level 

That leaves my heart yearning with you

And now I know as never before

What it is to love the one I am with. 

To step outside of future tripping, 

is to dance fluidly in what works 

And out when it doesn’t 

This apparently is catnip

Presence without pressure 

Attention without assumption

Love without expectation

How easy you are to fall in love with

When you are frolicking 

in pure appreciation of what 

Each person brings in the moment. 

How easy it is to break hearts

When you cannot easily answer

Why each person feels so special 

In the impermanence that exists 

beyond the boundaries of promises 

Extracted as preemptive measures

 Strategies to keep hearts safe. 

To love deeply is to risk devastating grief. 

To survive losing love again and again 

Is to know without a doubt 

you will rise when grief has broken you.

It is a superpower born from pain. 

After waiting outside a closed door 

 for months and months

I want to belong to no one but myself

I want to savor the dance 

Until my rhythm is solid 

Only then can I find the one who moves in 

tune with my heart beating whole.